Although we’re in the 21st century and times have changed, a debate that is still very sensitive is the virginity i.e the waiting till marriage debate.
Why Its Still A Big Issue To Many
For the longest time, virginity has been known to symbolise chastity and purity. A virgin would automatically be passed of as someone of high morals and admirable behaviour i.e they are not throwing themselves onto every Tom, Dick and Harry. As a result, when someone is looking to start a family they look for a partner who can be faithful to them and who society deems to be “wife material.” Virginity is considered by some to be a sure way of determining whether someone has the aforementioned qualities. That’s why this father almost choked his daughter to death after suspecting that she had lost her virginity. In some nations there are ceremonies to celebrate someone’s virginity. We previously shared the story of the 70 year old virgin who was celebrated in that way.
Here’s Who We Can Automatically Exclude From This Equation
I would argue that it is not fair to measure every single human being using this yardstick. Its sad that I am able to count on the fingers of both my hands the people who have fallen victim to sexual harassment by people they trusted when they were just children. Imagine that! Now, to categorize that individual as “loose” based on something that took place when they couldn’t even defend themselves is downright unfair. Unfortunately, I’ve also seen that happen.
There are many others who found themselves in that situation in later stages of their lives. A study shows that in America alone, there is an estimated 463,634 victims (age 12 or older) of rape and sexual assault each year in the United States.
By the virginity yardstick people use to measure whether people are marriage material or not several people will already have been classified as “bad” or “unfit” based on such unfortunate circumstances.
Then there are others who have lost their loved ones. Are they no longer fit to find love again just because of their previous circumstances?
You might know more circumstances that can be added onto the list. Feel free to share in the comments.
How About The People That Haven’t Been Mentioned Above?
This is where the issue gets sensitive. Some advocate for exploring before settling as a way for discovering yourself and possibly whether you click with the person you are considering spending the rest of your life with. Others don’t see anything wrong with casual sex. Others have suggested that the virginity card is often applied to just women and refuse to succumb to those societal expectations.
Often times, these are the people that have been termed as having low moral standards and are considered to automatically be disqualified from the “marriage material bracket.”
Religion
In order to please God and abide by his high standards, some have abstained and are therefore considered “marriage material.”
However, others who say they are of the same religions have chosen not to do the same often stating that times have changed.
Here’s A Fact
Some who have married non-virgins have gone one to enjoy their marriage and make it work.
Quick Anecdote: It was in the early 50s when someone very close to my heart fell victim to sexual abuse and fell pregnant. She was just 15. This was back in the day when virginity was held with more importance than it is today. Nonetheless, her lover stood by her and was present for every single court proceeding and even later took care of her child. Fast forward several years later, they both past away this year, him at almost 100 and her in her late 80s after years of marriage and bringing 13 beautiful children of their own onto the planet.
Contrary to some beliefs, others who have married virgins have had failed marriages. It mostly boiled down to one thing, the person’s character.
What’s your view of the matter?